He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
