You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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