Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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