I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
