I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
