Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize