I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
