He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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