HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
