im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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