if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
one two three fourrrrnication!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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