You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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