Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
