Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
