So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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