I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
