Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize