Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
