dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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