and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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