Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
