dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
