There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
