I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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