great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
