If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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