if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize