So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
