Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
