somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
