remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
