he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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