If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
