if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
