i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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