Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
