Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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