you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
