If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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