Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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