In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
