All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
