Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
