can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
