you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This baby is an asshole
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
