i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
