that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
