State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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