I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
