I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
