handjob tips. give me some.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
