Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
