Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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