So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
