Michael Bay diarrhea
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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