Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
