Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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