i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
