Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
