i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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