She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
