if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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