My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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