i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
