I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
