NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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