I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
