She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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