Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
